Though it was after I came to Europe that I start to acknowledge that there are much more possibility in life than I had thought before, including the posibility to choose where ever I want to be for the successive education. Switching from management studies to more scientific disciplinary -- Economics, was definitely a unplanned transition for me. Though in a sense that I did try to get myself prepare for this transition, the exchange year was still very crucial to me. It was then I found how in detail professors in Taiwan usually covers a topic, and how students here had to rely on their planning of own study time to catch up with all the materials assigned. It was definitely a great shock for me to know that by the first week of the course, I will need to finish 200 pages for a subject by myself, in which the professor will not cover but will be taken into account for potential exam questions.
The exchange year was also the last year of my university, therefore there are much to consider than plain student life for the coming year. What do I want to do after I graduate? Where should I apply my graduate studies? and what do I want to study?
By the year end of 2007, though many of the above questions still were like puzzles to me, I had to do something about it. Considering my interest in Economics, I applied few graduate school in the states, and also the Utrecht University in Netherlands. It was almost expected that I would fail on my applications since I really have no clear idea what I want, or which sub-field in Economics interst me the most. Motivation letter in this sense was more like a letter questioning myself than a letter convicing the professor that I am a prefered candidate.
The only change I had was for Utrecht school of Economics. I guess I pass the minimum qualification for entry, and in fact did provide a convincing references letter, but the examination board have doubts on whether entering the program would be too challengeing for me. Therefore, what I had to do in the interview was mainly convince the coordinator of my ability to take challenges. Indeed, that was what they provided me.
"Challengeing=Rewarding" --This had been on my motto of the year.
The bloody fact was that I soon was no longer a straight A student, with record of some passing grade. It was often the case that I feel defeated and had to really struggle to stand up streight again. The blessing was that we had a really small program and that the only four of us really stick together and help each other through the hardships. Despite that we have very different interest in the sub-field of Economics, for me, it was already too good to meet a (not so big) bunch of people who could get pretty nerdy with me sometimes in haveing interesting economist conversation or pure chit-chat.
Reviewing it could really be just a blink of an eye. But living through it was another story. What I found most valuable about the past year was that I was more clear and precise on what interest me in the wide range of sub-field of economics-- international economics. To learn about the gravity model was like love at first sight! The simple and yet powerful model in explaining international trade filled my glass with wine. Though it had been quite stressful facing the professor, whom was really strict to me and Mark, we long for his little parise in acknowledge we have overcome some great difficulty.
Now at this moment, new challenge ahead. Several things I realize I really have to improve in this year (whether considering as a preparation for research ability) was:
1) training on logical thinking
2) writing - (i) able to convey my ideas clearly and logically (ii) make things interesting
3) basic mathematic models should be like intuitions.
Believe in it that it will be challenging to overcome one's shortcomings. and
believe that by putting all the effort on what you want to achieve will be rewarding.
