Jan 15. stress? GO away!

Back from journey for quite some time, after finishing IMFB report by Friday, I leted myself rested too fully over the weekend, and ended with too much to chew in this week before the final and also still another demanding report obligated far from done.

Received Conditional addmission on Friday 11th of January. Maybe I was still hooted on my IMFB or maybe because I knew at some extend that it is not as hard as other Universities in the USA since they did not ask for my ugly GRE test result.

Since the illness, I am having a really bad home sick. Not even chocolate is attracting to me. Do I have a change in taste??? It's getting harder to like the food here especially with my lousy cooking. I miss the food and friends and family more then anything now.

Monday among contecting the UU about my visa applicaion, I found my permission to stay here in Netherlands last till July 4th. In this sense, I feel they don't like so many foreigners in their country and try to kick you out of the country as soon as possible. So, I have to get back before that day though I don't know what they will do to me if I don't, something like illegle stay I guess. I called China airline and they say they'll have to contect Taiwan again for the changing process.

Tuesday received letter from UCLA in informing that they did not get professor MC'S recommendation letter, which is the most complicated one since it requires my signiture as well as the teachers. I have to get a fake signiture again. I hate this. Also, the TOEFL score did not arrive. I hate this even more. Why do ETS have so much problem doing their business and job? Because they are monopoly?? and they serve as they wish without a decent standard after you paid? I got tooooo many complain about ETS now. I hate dealing with it, they also reply at the most slowest. @@

I don't know if it's because of the coffee or the stress altogether. I hate feeling that I have wasted a great morning which I plan to do quite some studies and in the end used in dealing triffle things and still far from accomplish.

A bad habit. Though making some progress, but in knowing things can not be done after spending to much time on it and still cannot close the case frustrates me.
I always like to finish the thing that I can very quickly accomplish and whipe it out of my list the first and then feel a bit relief and to have the strength to move forward. And now nothing is out of the list and many to follow up. ><

After finishing the exams on next Monday and Thursday, I have to think again about whether to apply for the serious Reserch Master Utrecht Offers or keep on the track of International Economics and Business. The bigest difference is that the Research Master requires two years of study and offers a lot more foundamental courses. I have advice from IMFB professor who also suggest me that if Master is not my final degee, it is better to take more foundamental courses instead of applicational courses which the program I got accepcted offers.
I don't know how should I aim this degree. If it's not the final, why two years now? If it's not the final, it is actually better really to get some good training before I go to the USA. Also, it is those foundamental coures that I may be able to get some 抵免. Should I apply and make the final decision letter? or can I decide now and not to waste the money deciding not to study here anyway.

It's not a good time to think about this question further now since there is no clear answer and that I have no time to think which I should use in study for the final.
Especially when I am home sick, thoughts like: why not spend a year home and maybe find a short term job while applying? Which can be simply read as: I want to stay home and rest a little. Not wanting to move forward sometimes is not a good idea. Sometimes it's so hard to remember the passion I had when I first think about comeing here.

When the weather just gets soo wrong, and it really drags people back from the road and wanting to go home. The wind was so stong today, can be compair with the wind in Hsin-Chu I would say. It's not only difficult to move forward, but it is sometimes really dangerous when it comes from the side. I had a really difficulty to balance and ride stright not to bump into others.

Harsh. Not fully recover from the cold, it gets me a harder time to get a good sleep at night and further result in a sleepy daytime.
I have to be strong to survive through this low mood and stress!!! Later comes the break between peroid, I will have a good rest then :)

GOGO witch!