Feb. 11 Need of Friends

Can we sometimes accept the fact that the one you care most about need someone else to safe her from falling off the edges or retrieving their confidence or laughing out loud and hard again?

The need to speak out, to have a window to shout out our feeling already hints that one is carrying too much for one to bear. Therefore, I have to complain, to babble in order to release the pressure and defeating idea that crushed me out of breath and courage to face the up coming challenge.

However, I understood there is also a limit for another to shoulder your labor; and also when they are too close to you, the pessimistic feeling become contagious and damaging to their feeling as well. Maybe because they care so much about you that they feel totally in your shoe, and feel hopeless as you do; and/or that the defeating feeling is too much one and also for two (to bear).

That is why perhaps another friend who you trust, who is willing to listen, who cares about you and who knows you better enough enters and serves as a relay runner to carry your feelings for you. They provide different ingredients that will gradually help you re-construct your faith again. Some check with you what might be the underlying problem; some give you suggestions of what to do; some want you to recall and think again what is the goal you are trying to reach and the believe you once held; and some reminded you that you are just too nervous and fear failure too much, at the same time want you to bear in mind that you have always try to challenge yourself to the limit. But most important of all, they all trusted you so much, and vie listening and responding, they make you believe in yourself once again.

I have to thank quite some people for accompany me through this dungeon over the past few day (nearly a week), when I thought I might not be able to climb out of the darkness and see the sunshine again. Thank you, thank you all that was there for me.

End note:
Looking back, I also come to think about relationship and friendships. To me, it is hard to accept the once closest friend now live a life that is centered on another’s, and the one you care most about need another to comfort her feeling through her difficult times.

However, I do not want to say in a factionist view that we need different friends for different functions, nor do I want to say that we invest in our network/ friendship connections because we wish that one day they would pay us back in return. I would rather believe that despite we need friends help in many situations, but also we need them to complete a life course, which taking it along is undoubtedly too lonely.

I hope I can be a good listener and also be someone who people would think about coming forward to when they need help or someone to share feelings with. Also, I hope I can be more open to accept the fact that we all need more than a friend to share our burden, and different challenge we face in our life. Moreover, if possible, after listening to them, and know their problems, I will be able to tell them or suggest them who they should share their feelings to make them feel better.
To illustrate, I used to tell my mom everything, but now sometimes I fear of letting her know too much that she might worry too much about me. But it is so true that deep in my heart, I need to talk to her, and talking to her makes me feel so much better. (She knows me too well) So, I might actually need someone to encourage me to speak to her ;)